We’re familiar with ‘Caveat Emptor’ (“Let the buyer beware”), but Sharon spotted another sort of sign in a trendy home goods and jewelry store, a notice replicated throughout the establishment. Worded in English, it said, in effect, “Caveat Clepta” (“Let the thief beware,” cf. the word root for ‘kleptomaniac’ and ‘kleptocracy.’) And I had to take a look. We both much appreciated the message, so I took this photo. (I should add that this store sits in the affluent, Spring Hill suburb, south of Franklin, not an urban district subject to gangs of smash-and-grab artists.) 

Here’s a breakdown of the message with brief commentary:

“Dear Shoplifters”

It’s funny how we use the greeting ‘Dear,’ when the recipient is not particularly dear to us. I think of “Dear Occupant” on junk mail. Or a “Dear John” letter. 

“We are fed up with you.”

The fruit of the Spirit in Galatian’s 5:22-23 aren’t all absolutes. There’s a proper limit to patience, as evident in that same chapter, verse 5, where Paul says he hopes the circumcision-insisters might emasculate themselves. There’s a time to be “fed up.”

We have over 20 cameras through the store. There’s at least four focused on you now.

These are expensive, but in the US, shoplifting costs retailers a lot of money: Approximately $50B a year, with well-over a million incidents, averaging over $450 a hit. 

We will post your picture all over social media.

Not sure this is legal. Whatever the case, this could prompt a defamation lawsuit, whether or not it has merit. But it’s a scary prospect, made possible by twenty-first century technology and prevailing societal practice. As ominous as this sounds, it could also be an act of mercy. If the potential shoplifters are unaware of this possibility, they’re more likely to go ahead with thefts. But fearing this dreadful consequence, he or she might choose to be a good boy or girl.

We will prosecute you.

Another sobering threat, whose disclosure is also an act of mercy. And should the thief go ahead, the government is well within its purview to act (cf. Romans 13:1-5). Watching shows like Cops, I see that almost all malefactors plead ignorance and innocence, and some beg for mercy, pointing to their basically good record, the grief it could bring to loved ones, the way it would destroy their own prospects, which are on the upturn, etc. And yes, there is a time to let folks off with a warning. But this store is justifiably “fed up” with excuses and tearful appeals.

Stealing is a mortal sin

This line prompted a mini-study of Roman Catholic hamartiology, and I’m still not settled on the store’s classification. The best I can tell, the knowing, willful practice of a “mortal sin” cuts you off from God’s grace, and the list varies from one source to another. (Apostasy, suicide, and adultery are three.) A “deadly sin” is one that leads to ruin on earth, with a list of seven: Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and Sloth. 

These lists encompass motivation, and you wonder where the shop owners would locate the mindset of the thieves. What about jewelry, for instance? Does their pride drive them to be more elegantly adorned? Or greed for more bling? Or envy toward a classmate who has such jewelry? Or perhaps shoplifters are confused, thinking the wealthy, well-insured store owner won’t really take a significant hit? Maybe there are those who do it on a dare, to gain cred with some rotten friends. Or maybe they’re convinced that inequities or their victimhood makes the taking justified? And some might simply be embarrassed to take the product to the checkout, e.g., a porn magazine or adult diapers. 

I suppose I should call up a Catholic friend for clarification. I’m not persuaded that the store owners are themselves Catholic since it’s not clear they know what this expression means or how it applies. It just sounds awful. Good enough. On the other hand, they may not be theologically alert Protestants, in that we don’t draw the mortal/venial distinction, and there’s no reference here to saving grace in Christ. But I suppose I’m asking too much for this thumbnail format.

God is watching you.

Indeed, he does. And hereby, they tell me they’re not atheists, agnostics, pantheists, or polytheists. Amen.